The Secret Ingredient…
The beautiful, gorgeous pie I made:)Strawberry rhubarb pie is arguably the best kind of fruit pie. It smells like eternal happiness, citrus, butter, and love. Its my favorite. Every year for my mom’s birthday, my grandma makes her our families strawberry rhubarb pie. It’s something we don’t really eat other than around that time now that I think about it. So, it holds a special place in my heart. About a week ago, I decided that I was craving a slice, but I refused to eat any other pie other than my grandam’s recipe. So, I made one. I want to preface by saying I don’t like to bake. I love to cook but, baking is a whole other beast. I want to follow that up by saying I have never once made a pie, of any kind, 100% by myself from scratch. This naturally meant that the top crust had to be latticed. My adventure began with wanting to do a lattice crust and my knowledge of my grandma’s secret ingredient. Pretty good start if you ask me.
However, I don’t want to bore you with the details by explaining my step-by-step process, which would in turn give away the secret ingredient, so instead I will tell you what was going through my brain. Since the chopping of the strawberries and the rhubarb was going smoothly, I decided to put on the latest season of Love Island UK, a show everyone must watch. As the drama was ensuing and lads were being lads, I started to wonder what being in a situation like that would be like. Would I really be able to fall for a person? Is it possible to even trust an environment like that? Would I end up being self-conscience? By this time, I had finished chopping everything up, and I was starting on the crust. I was pouring the water bit-by-bit into the flour mixture and questioning my baking abilities, when I realized the questions I had been having about my show were quite applicable in the life I am already leading, just with a few minor tweaks. Will I really love the career I want now by the time I am in it? And, is it possible to trust an industry such as fashion? And the only answer I could fester up is, I have no idea. I would love to say yes, I will become a stylist and editor, I will be the new Anna Wintour, I will be fashion royalty. I would love to say yes, the industry is trustworthy, I don’t need to worry about being the best right now, I will have time to grow and to prove myself. But I can’t say those things. I can only say maybe.
From crust I moved back to the filling, I measured out the flour and sugar, added the lemon, the secret ingredient, and dotted with butter, so far, so good. I then entered into a battle with my lattice top. As I cut the strips, my contemplations continued. I decided then and there to give myself the grace of being indecisive. I allowed for my “Oh how cool would it be if I did that?!” thoughts, to sink in. I let myself think about screenwriting. For about a month now, I have been trying to choose just what part of the industry I want to get into, and what form of artistic expression I am most drawn to. Fashion/editorial, or fashion/film. As of right now I am ready to drop everything magazines and dive into the realm of creating other worlds. I want to make something that tells a story, and changes lives. And its not to say magazines don’t do that but, do you ever read a magazine, get to the end and think, “wow, I think my life just changed”? No, you don’t. But with movies, well, I know I do that almost every day.
Figuring this out though, its scary for me. For years now, I have known exactly what I wanted to do, who I wanted to be, and what I wanted my image to look like. And right now, it feels like all of those things are being flipped onto their heads. I ask myself if maybe I’m indecisive but then I remind myself that now is the time for me to change my mind. Except I feel like I am drowning in the pressure I have put on myself to already have everything figured out. To be perfectly put together. In the end though, no one is perfect. Not even pies. My pie was perfect though, lets make that clear. She came out of the oven latticed to perfection, with a sticky tart center, and perfectly crisp crust. I think by making this pie, I proved to myself that the good things in life take patience, and effort. That a good life, pie, piece of writing, and even a career take years of indecisiveness, and secret ingredients. I learned whatever I do, it will be perfect. It just needs to bake at 425 for 35-40 min, or until golden brown.
-Miss O
